Friday was kind of a lazy day. Nathan had his physical therapy in the morning. Larry and I read our scriptures and we are trying to say a prayer before we read so that we can understand them better. Elder Oaks promised that we would understand the scriptures better if we would pray before reading. I have found that we tend to discuss what we are reading more as we read after we pray. And we can see things by the spirit that we have not seen before. We are reading the Doctrine and Covenants right now along with the curriculum for Sunday School and also the information about President Hinckley's teachings. I have had a lot of fear since my stem cell transplant and I ask Heavenly Father to help me not to fear. Basically I feel like Satan is going to get me. Today we read
4. Wherefore, meaning the church, thou shalt give heed unto all his(the Prophet's) words and commandments which he shall give unto you as he receiveth them, walking in all holiness before me;
5 For his word ye shall receive, as if from mine own mouth, in all patience and faith.
6 For by doing these things the gates of hell shall not prevail against you; yea, and the Lord God will disperse the powers of darkness from before you, and cause the heavens to shake for your good, and his name’s glory.
Basically this scripture says that if we do what the Prophet teaches us that Satan can have no power over us!! It was a marvelous moment to read that and realize what it said that I had never realized before.
After we showered on Friday and Nathan got home and we had lunch, I worked on the budget for a while and then Larry and I decided to go down to get the mail. I was hoping that Larry felt like walking. But he was afraid it was too far. So we rode to the mailbox and went to the grocery store to get some things that we had run out of . Larry did much better this week at the grocery store. He was able to stay with me the whole time. We took the food and went home.
I started working on the budget again while watching Bones. Larry and Nathan were in their bedrooms watching other things. So much for the Technology generation! After an hour I started dinner when I was hungry. I have had a lot of pain this week before it is time to take my pain pills so I find myself eating when I am in pain to compensate. We had a good dinner. Watching Bones until we were to the end of the series on Netflix. It ended with a hanging end so that was frustrating. It was frustrating so I sat down to work on the budget for a while because it was only about 6:30 p.m. I continued to work on the budget and realized that Larry had fallen asleep in his clothes. I let him sleep until I got to a stopping point about 10:00 p.m. Then I woke him up by taking off his stockings. Of course doing that woke him up but that way he was able to get his medications and insulin and get ready for bed.
The VA gave Larry some compression stockings and they have been wonderful in helping him to keep his ankles from swelling. He says they are comfortable but today he wore some different shoes to church and he had problems walking because his shoes were too big with those stockings on. But he was also having problems with his balance at the end of church so that was worrisome.
Today in church they talked about Primary and the importance of children and our teaching them to carry on the gospel to the next generations. One thing that I regret in raising my children is that I didn't spend more time with them and listen better and teach the gospel better. But I did the best I knew how at the time and I felt like I was doing a good job at the time but then I watch young mothers ignoring their children while they talk and I realize that I am seeing me when I was younger. I think the hard thing about growing older you have learned beyond where you were at a younger time and you always want to tell others what you have learned.
It is cloudy and it is supposed to rain today. It is really humid. I have been so hot.
I grilled steaks for lunch and for once they were perfect!! It was such a good feeling.
Nathan put on Mormon Channel today and it is great to listen to the truths of the Gospel of Jesus Christ while I type.
Sunday, February 26, 2017
Friday, February 24, 2017
February 24th
Today I thought that after we finished all the morning things we do to get ready for the day that I would be able to work on the budget this afternoon but I was wrong.
I laughed because Larry and I were hugging for a while this morning and he sat up and said do you mind if I watch Donald Trumps speech to the CPAC so we ended up watching that for the entire time of the speech. I know some people don't agree but it makes me feel good to see some of the changes he is making because I want them for our country but I don't think I am strictly a nationalist like he is.
Nathan went to his gym this morning and when he got back he went to talk to the office about the fact that they had come and taken the microwave that they loaned us while ours was being fixed. He also got the mail when he was there and Larry got a letter from AAA saying that it was time to renew and he insisted that we drive the half hour up to their office on 281 and get it fixed. So we did. I told him that I only wanted to do that and take him to get a haircut because I wanted to work on the bills and he understood.
Unfortunately for some reason the traffic in San Antonio was heavier than usual at 1:30 p.m. IH35 south was blocked for about 2 miles with slow traffic and IH410 west was also lined up solid so after we went to AAA Texas we determined to go home another way by IH1604 which wasn't a bad idea but there were places that it was blocked and slow also. But we made good time until we got to FM 78 that we live on.
I had to go to the bathroom so we stopped at Walmart we spent about 45 minutes there looking for a slinky for Isaac because Nathan wants to get him one to replace the one he had that Maggie tangled up for him. Then we remembered that we needed a picture frame to replace the one that had been broken and we wanted to get some frozen Mango because it comes in bigger packages there. We scored 2 of the 3 and decided to get the slinky online. Larry took his walker with him and he walked all around Walmart with no problem. The guy that fitted him for his compression socks told him that he needed to walk more or the socks would not be comfortable and he really took him at his word. I was pleased that his legs were not swollen when I helped him take them off tonight.
We came out of Walmart and headed west on FM 78 and the traffic was backed up for an accident. It took us 20 minutes to go about 2 blocks so by the time I got him to great clips and back home it was about 4:00 p.m. I was able to work on the budget for about an hour before it was time to make dinner.
Luckily they listened to Nathan and brought us another microwave that works so when we got back we had a microwave that worked. Last night when we got home the one they loaned us was gone so we thought that they had fixed ours and taken that one but when I got up this morning and tried to warm up a breakfast sandwich for Nathan it came out ice cold like before.
I fixed hamburgers for dinner and we watched three episodes of Bones and then we went in to read scriptures and pray together. Larry had got really cold so he told me that he was going to bed with his clothes on but after the air conditioner quit and I turned up the temperature setting on the dial it warmed up and he finally got up and got ready for bed. The thermostat in this apartment is not accurate and it is often frustrating trying to keep it a comfortable temperature. It was 83 today in San Antonio so it would be natural to have the air conditioner on but it was colder inside than it needed to be even though it was set to 75.
I laughed because Larry and I were hugging for a while this morning and he sat up and said do you mind if I watch Donald Trumps speech to the CPAC so we ended up watching that for the entire time of the speech. I know some people don't agree but it makes me feel good to see some of the changes he is making because I want them for our country but I don't think I am strictly a nationalist like he is.
Nathan went to his gym this morning and when he got back he went to talk to the office about the fact that they had come and taken the microwave that they loaned us while ours was being fixed. He also got the mail when he was there and Larry got a letter from AAA saying that it was time to renew and he insisted that we drive the half hour up to their office on 281 and get it fixed. So we did. I told him that I only wanted to do that and take him to get a haircut because I wanted to work on the bills and he understood.
Unfortunately for some reason the traffic in San Antonio was heavier than usual at 1:30 p.m. IH35 south was blocked for about 2 miles with slow traffic and IH410 west was also lined up solid so after we went to AAA Texas we determined to go home another way by IH1604 which wasn't a bad idea but there were places that it was blocked and slow also. But we made good time until we got to FM 78 that we live on.
I had to go to the bathroom so we stopped at Walmart we spent about 45 minutes there looking for a slinky for Isaac because Nathan wants to get him one to replace the one he had that Maggie tangled up for him. Then we remembered that we needed a picture frame to replace the one that had been broken and we wanted to get some frozen Mango because it comes in bigger packages there. We scored 2 of the 3 and decided to get the slinky online. Larry took his walker with him and he walked all around Walmart with no problem. The guy that fitted him for his compression socks told him that he needed to walk more or the socks would not be comfortable and he really took him at his word. I was pleased that his legs were not swollen when I helped him take them off tonight.
We came out of Walmart and headed west on FM 78 and the traffic was backed up for an accident. It took us 20 minutes to go about 2 blocks so by the time I got him to great clips and back home it was about 4:00 p.m. I was able to work on the budget for about an hour before it was time to make dinner.
Luckily they listened to Nathan and brought us another microwave that works so when we got back we had a microwave that worked. Last night when we got home the one they loaned us was gone so we thought that they had fixed ours and taken that one but when I got up this morning and tried to warm up a breakfast sandwich for Nathan it came out ice cold like before.
I fixed hamburgers for dinner and we watched three episodes of Bones and then we went in to read scriptures and pray together. Larry had got really cold so he told me that he was going to bed with his clothes on but after the air conditioner quit and I turned up the temperature setting on the dial it warmed up and he finally got up and got ready for bed. The thermostat in this apartment is not accurate and it is often frustrating trying to keep it a comfortable temperature. It was 83 today in San Antonio so it would be natural to have the air conditioner on but it was colder inside than it needed to be even though it was set to 75.
Thursday, February 23, 2017
February 23rd and before
Well it has been a crazy week. Larry is feeling better so we are going to bed later and I haven't had the energy to write late at night.
Sunday was crazy. I took the kids and Nathan to church. Larry stayed home because he felt like trying to go the time before was too much for him. He had had a two pound weight gain the night before and so I told him to call the nurse and find out what they wanted him to do. They say you should call with a 2lb. weight gain over 24 hours or a 5 lb weight gain in a week. The nurse told him to come in to the ER to be checked.
I found someone to stay with Nathan and the kids. Brother Ben Barlow in our ward is a single military man and he agreed to come over. As we were leaving he mentioned that he had been invited to dinner at the Montes family at 5:30 p.m. It was barely past three and I knew we wouldn't be back that soon and so I told him I would find someone to replace him. After I got Larry settled for a few minutes I had to go out in the main lobby to use my phone to call or text someone. When I looked at it he had already called Sister Montes and told her he might be late so instead of just saying okay she texted me and asked me if it was okay if she took part of the dinner to Nathan and the kids and Ben at the apartment. I called her and we talked she assured me that she wanted to help and seems how I had left Nathan and the kids with the admonition to eat what you can find I said sure. To me that is going above and beyond the call of duty. She said that her mother told her that she fixed too much food so maybe she was inspired. But I did feel bad about breaking up their dinner date.
But then started the marathon that being in the ER can be. It is so frustrating to wait for a half hour without seeing anyone while you wait. They worried about whether they should keep him or just change his medication and send him home. By the time that he went to the ER he had gained 9 lbs of water weight which shocked me. They ran a bunch of tests and took an X-ray and in the end he ended up coming home with an increased dose of Torsemide the diuretic that they are giving him to keep the water from building up in his body. That took from 3:00 p.m. until 8:00 p.m. to decide. I was glad that he could come home. Monday morning his weight had dropped by 3 lbs overnight and has steadily dropped about that everyday since. On Tuesday when we went to Weight Watcher's he was down to his previous weight before surgery.
Monday was Presidents day so we had a long weekend with the kids. We had a lazy morning. Isaac was invited to a movie with a friend for his birthday. They came to pick him up and then Nathan was going to come and get him and take him to Cold Stone for ice cream because he got a gift card for his birthday. Sunday night they had a huge storm in San Antonio. There was lots of rain and 4 documented small tornadoes. There was a lot of power outage throughout the area. Anyway when they got to the movie theater it was closed because of no power so they went a few miles down the road and went to a pizza and game place called Mr. Gatti's. When we picked Isaac up he had had a good time but when we went to Cold Stone which was by the theater it was also closed because of no power so he was really bummed out.
Nathan had wanted to make ice cream with a small ice cream freezer that he had that I had given him a long time ago. So we decided to make some ice cream with that to cheer Isaac up. He made all of it with a little help from me and he was really excited when it "looked like real ice cream" and tasted good. They had a good time eating that and it seemed to cheer them up.
Wednesday Larry had his 2nd follow-up with Cardiology after he was hospitalized at the beginning of the month with Congestive heart failure. This time he was seeing a pharmacist with Cardology. We thought it was at Audie Murphy Hospital but when we got there just on time we found out that it was at the Shavano Park VA Clinic twenty minutes away. So the receptionist at Audie called the Dr. and she said that she could see us in about 2 hours at 1:00 p.m. So we put the address in our GPS and headed out for Shavano Park. I was surprized to find out the Shavano Park was East of the VA. In my mind it was West but I was wrong.
We had already eaten on the way up for lunch and so we didn't stop for that. We arrived about 12:00 p.m. We decided to just sit and wait and the Dr. actually came out to get us about 12:30 p.m. She went over all the things that Larry needed to know about the disease and evaluated his records of his weight and blood pressure and pulse over the last two weeks. She determined that the extra Torsemide was working and told him to stay on it. She was not worried about him until he mentioned that he was feeling off balance when he walked since the surgery so she went to his Primary care doctor, who's office was next door and they told her that we could see her at 3:00 p.m. which was about an hour from then but we decided to stay and see her. She ordered some tests along with Dr Kim the pharmacy Dr. and said that we should come in Today to get the tests done so they could get them back before Larry's appointment on Monday. So we agreed. We got a lot accomplished but it basically took us from 10:45 a.m. until 3:30 p.m when we were planning on an hour appointment at the most.
I did a lot of laundry and dishes and such before we left and so when we got home we decided to use a gift card that Jake and Nikki had given us for Christmas to celebrate the Valentines that we didn't get to celebrate. We asked Nathan if he wanted to go but he was tired and so we got him some Panda Express and we went by ourselves. It was fun to go out and sit and eat and talk but I was really disappointed with the meal I got at Red Lobster. It was a far cry from the picture that they had on the menu. But the steamed lobster tasted really good even if they looked scrawny.
Today we started out about 10:00 again. Nathan wanted to go with us because he had some business he needed to do at the VA. I am the only one who can drive right now even though Larry is really pushing to drive but his surgeons told him that until he can be out of the hospital for two weeks and get his heart failure under control he cannot drive. Well I almost hit a car going off the exit to Babcock Rd. It really shock me and everyone up. Then I went to park the car with the valet and was watching him and drove in front of a lady on the cross walk so Nathan started yelling at me and then I couldn't understand what the Valet wanted me to do to park and so I did that wrong. Needless to say Nathan and Larry were upset with me and I was upset with them and me when we got to the VA.
Nathan left us to go do his stuff and we went to the Blood lab. Then we went to Radiology and got Larry's x-ray and started the scheduling for the MRI. Then we went down to Prosthetics to get Larry measured for some support stockings and Nathan was there. After a few minutes he came out with a worker with a new Manual Wheelchair. It is much nicer and built to fit him better. He has been waiting for it for 18 weeks he said and they told him that it would come in 6 weeks. It really made his day. After Larry was fitted and got his stockings and Nathan was fitted to his wheelchair we were able to go home.
Larry wanted to take Nathan to a Taco place that we found on Babcock Rd that we liked called Wapo's Tacos. The food is pretty good and it has a clean nice atmosphere. So we went to lunch there and then came home.
This evening we took the Mercedes Van to pick up the kids and Nathan took his new chair to show them. It was nice to have room for everyone and it drives smoother. We went to Subway and then Nathan and the kids went to Target to look for a slinky for Isaac, because his from the party Monday got tangled up. Then for fun they went to Pet Co and looked at the animals. Larry was too tired to walk around and so he stayed in the Van while we did that.
When we got home my granddaughter, Taylor, called me and wanted to talk to me because her mother was talking to a friend and she didn't want to play with the friends daughters because they were younger. She was really animated and told me about not being able to go to school yet and how her dad felt about that and which Dr. would not let her go. She talked for a good 15 minutes. One of the funniest things she said was, "Grandma it must really be hard for you to take care of Uncle Nathan and Grandpa right now". I admitted that is was kind of hard and she said, "I understand. I have been having to take care of my Mom all day while she has been throwing up" So out of the mouth of Babes come the most interesting things.
Sunday was crazy. I took the kids and Nathan to church. Larry stayed home because he felt like trying to go the time before was too much for him. He had had a two pound weight gain the night before and so I told him to call the nurse and find out what they wanted him to do. They say you should call with a 2lb. weight gain over 24 hours or a 5 lb weight gain in a week. The nurse told him to come in to the ER to be checked.
I found someone to stay with Nathan and the kids. Brother Ben Barlow in our ward is a single military man and he agreed to come over. As we were leaving he mentioned that he had been invited to dinner at the Montes family at 5:30 p.m. It was barely past three and I knew we wouldn't be back that soon and so I told him I would find someone to replace him. After I got Larry settled for a few minutes I had to go out in the main lobby to use my phone to call or text someone. When I looked at it he had already called Sister Montes and told her he might be late so instead of just saying okay she texted me and asked me if it was okay if she took part of the dinner to Nathan and the kids and Ben at the apartment. I called her and we talked she assured me that she wanted to help and seems how I had left Nathan and the kids with the admonition to eat what you can find I said sure. To me that is going above and beyond the call of duty. She said that her mother told her that she fixed too much food so maybe she was inspired. But I did feel bad about breaking up their dinner date.
But then started the marathon that being in the ER can be. It is so frustrating to wait for a half hour without seeing anyone while you wait. They worried about whether they should keep him or just change his medication and send him home. By the time that he went to the ER he had gained 9 lbs of water weight which shocked me. They ran a bunch of tests and took an X-ray and in the end he ended up coming home with an increased dose of Torsemide the diuretic that they are giving him to keep the water from building up in his body. That took from 3:00 p.m. until 8:00 p.m. to decide. I was glad that he could come home. Monday morning his weight had dropped by 3 lbs overnight and has steadily dropped about that everyday since. On Tuesday when we went to Weight Watcher's he was down to his previous weight before surgery.
Monday was Presidents day so we had a long weekend with the kids. We had a lazy morning. Isaac was invited to a movie with a friend for his birthday. They came to pick him up and then Nathan was going to come and get him and take him to Cold Stone for ice cream because he got a gift card for his birthday. Sunday night they had a huge storm in San Antonio. There was lots of rain and 4 documented small tornadoes. There was a lot of power outage throughout the area. Anyway when they got to the movie theater it was closed because of no power so they went a few miles down the road and went to a pizza and game place called Mr. Gatti's. When we picked Isaac up he had had a good time but when we went to Cold Stone which was by the theater it was also closed because of no power so he was really bummed out.
Nathan had wanted to make ice cream with a small ice cream freezer that he had that I had given him a long time ago. So we decided to make some ice cream with that to cheer Isaac up. He made all of it with a little help from me and he was really excited when it "looked like real ice cream" and tasted good. They had a good time eating that and it seemed to cheer them up.
Wednesday Larry had his 2nd follow-up with Cardiology after he was hospitalized at the beginning of the month with Congestive heart failure. This time he was seeing a pharmacist with Cardology. We thought it was at Audie Murphy Hospital but when we got there just on time we found out that it was at the Shavano Park VA Clinic twenty minutes away. So the receptionist at Audie called the Dr. and she said that she could see us in about 2 hours at 1:00 p.m. So we put the address in our GPS and headed out for Shavano Park. I was surprized to find out the Shavano Park was East of the VA. In my mind it was West but I was wrong.
We had already eaten on the way up for lunch and so we didn't stop for that. We arrived about 12:00 p.m. We decided to just sit and wait and the Dr. actually came out to get us about 12:30 p.m. She went over all the things that Larry needed to know about the disease and evaluated his records of his weight and blood pressure and pulse over the last two weeks. She determined that the extra Torsemide was working and told him to stay on it. She was not worried about him until he mentioned that he was feeling off balance when he walked since the surgery so she went to his Primary care doctor, who's office was next door and they told her that we could see her at 3:00 p.m. which was about an hour from then but we decided to stay and see her. She ordered some tests along with Dr Kim the pharmacy Dr. and said that we should come in Today to get the tests done so they could get them back before Larry's appointment on Monday. So we agreed. We got a lot accomplished but it basically took us from 10:45 a.m. until 3:30 p.m when we were planning on an hour appointment at the most.
I did a lot of laundry and dishes and such before we left and so when we got home we decided to use a gift card that Jake and Nikki had given us for Christmas to celebrate the Valentines that we didn't get to celebrate. We asked Nathan if he wanted to go but he was tired and so we got him some Panda Express and we went by ourselves. It was fun to go out and sit and eat and talk but I was really disappointed with the meal I got at Red Lobster. It was a far cry from the picture that they had on the menu. But the steamed lobster tasted really good even if they looked scrawny.
Today we started out about 10:00 again. Nathan wanted to go with us because he had some business he needed to do at the VA. I am the only one who can drive right now even though Larry is really pushing to drive but his surgeons told him that until he can be out of the hospital for two weeks and get his heart failure under control he cannot drive. Well I almost hit a car going off the exit to Babcock Rd. It really shock me and everyone up. Then I went to park the car with the valet and was watching him and drove in front of a lady on the cross walk so Nathan started yelling at me and then I couldn't understand what the Valet wanted me to do to park and so I did that wrong. Needless to say Nathan and Larry were upset with me and I was upset with them and me when we got to the VA.
Nathan left us to go do his stuff and we went to the Blood lab. Then we went to Radiology and got Larry's x-ray and started the scheduling for the MRI. Then we went down to Prosthetics to get Larry measured for some support stockings and Nathan was there. After a few minutes he came out with a worker with a new Manual Wheelchair. It is much nicer and built to fit him better. He has been waiting for it for 18 weeks he said and they told him that it would come in 6 weeks. It really made his day. After Larry was fitted and got his stockings and Nathan was fitted to his wheelchair we were able to go home.
Larry wanted to take Nathan to a Taco place that we found on Babcock Rd that we liked called Wapo's Tacos. The food is pretty good and it has a clean nice atmosphere. So we went to lunch there and then came home.
This evening we took the Mercedes Van to pick up the kids and Nathan took his new chair to show them. It was nice to have room for everyone and it drives smoother. We went to Subway and then Nathan and the kids went to Target to look for a slinky for Isaac, because his from the party Monday got tangled up. Then for fun they went to Pet Co and looked at the animals. Larry was too tired to walk around and so he stayed in the Van while we did that.
When we got home my granddaughter, Taylor, called me and wanted to talk to me because her mother was talking to a friend and she didn't want to play with the friends daughters because they were younger. She was really animated and told me about not being able to go to school yet and how her dad felt about that and which Dr. would not let her go. She talked for a good 15 minutes. One of the funniest things she said was, "Grandma it must really be hard for you to take care of Uncle Nathan and Grandpa right now". I admitted that is was kind of hard and she said, "I understand. I have been having to take care of my Mom all day while she has been throwing up" So out of the mouth of Babes come the most interesting things.
Saturday, February 18, 2017
February 18th
Saturdays with the kids are always busy. We get to sleep in to 8:00 a.m. because they are old enough to turn on the TV and have their IPads so they are entertained and Nathan is usually up by 5:00 a.m. so he is awake if they need anything.
Nathan is planning for two weeks recipes that he wants me to make with the kids. Then it can change on Saturday if he sees something that he likes that day. I went shopping earlier in the week and told him I would make three things this weekend and got the things that we needed but then this morning he saw two more recipes that he wanted to make and I needed to get some things for those.
Anyway after getting something for everyone for breakfast Larry and I read scriptures this morning for about an hour. At about 11:00 a.m. I decided I better get dressed because I have to take Maggie to gymnastics at noon. So I did that and then we fixed lunch for Maggie and I before we left.
Meanwhile Nathan was helping Isaac make brownies from his Thrive food storage mix that he wanted to cook in jars that can be saved for a while. When things were not working the way he wanted he would call me and ask me to help Isaac. Isaac made the brownies himself with just a little help from me. They were cooking before we left. I asked Isaac to help me get the things he used cleaned up and the counters washed but of course he forgot.
While Maggie went to class I went shopping at the HEB next to the dance studio. We were able to get the things to make the things Nathan discovered today and some fresh fruit and salsa and other things. Maggie was disappointed that I had already shopped because she wanted to help me. So I had her help me take in some groceries when we got home and the boys got some also.
Nathan and the boys had gone to the basketball court while we were gone. Maggie was disappointed that she didn't get to go and Nathan told her she could go over after we made cookies so she was happy with that but we never made it.
I put a roast in the crock pot to use for sandwiches or tortillas and Maggie, Sammy and I had some watermelon to eat. I told Nathan that I needed to rest for a half hour and then we would make the cookies so I went and got Larry's pills for him and then I sat down to look at Facebook on my phone. Two hours later and hurting because I forgot to take my own pills I realized that it was time to make cookies. Nathan has a cookie mix with his Thrive food storage that is pretty good and makes it easier to make the cookies but they are still work cooking. We made white chocolate chip macadamia nut cookies. I didn't know if the kids would eat them but they ate a few along with the brownies.
After that I made a smoothie from Nathan's Thrive freeze dried fruits and some yogurt and orange and pineapple juice. I made the kids all try it but only David drank a 3 oz cup, Nathan and Larry and I drank the rest. At that point I checked the roast and shredded it because it was done. Nathan and Larry wanted some on a bun. I tried it and then started to talk to Nathan thinking I had swallowed it and it came back up and went into my windpipe and I coughed for about 15 minutes so I decided not to have anymore for a while. The kids were still full from eating cookies and brownies and fruit and a vegetable tray I bought for them at the store so they did not want any so once again I went into rest. At this point I had not finished the dishes and David had left a pan from cooking Pizza Bagels while I was gone and Isaac's dishes were not cleaned up yet.
Nathan decided that the kids could help him move all the books out of the bookshelves in our room and take them to his closet. They were not very happy about this and complained a lot. Sammy seemed to scream anytime anyone asked him to do anything that was not playing on the IPad or watching TV today. But the boys got them moved with lots of complaining while I was making cookies with Maggie.
Larry spent most of his time in the bedroom watching Fox news and some of the other programs he likes. I went in with him to rest. After a while all the kids started screaming again. Nathan wanted them to do the dishes and they were not happy about it. They also had to complain about what everyone else was doing and it got pretty loud. I stayed in my room most of the time because Nathan is the parent and I think that it is good that he is teaching them to work but I did come out one time when I thought David was going to kill Sammy but Nathan got them all calmed down by dividing up the jobs that they had to do and eventually they got most of the dishes finished.
We said prayer as a family and then Nathan told the kids to get their pajamas on and brush their teeth. Maggie wears pull ups here and she informed us that she didn't have any left so Maggie and I drove to Target across the street and got her some. She is quite the conversationalist. It is fun to go with her. She talks as much as I do. She told me all about how she doesn't wear pull ups at her moms because her mom says she doesn't need them but then her mom has to wash her sheets and put them on her bed. I wish I had the energy to do that but pull ups are fine for me and my dad used to say that by the time they are twenty you can't tell what age they were potty trained.
So I came home and read scriptures with Larry and Maggie played on her IPad. He wasn't feeling well tonight so he went to bed at about 8:30 p.m. Maggie came out and talked to me and helped me clean up the rest of the kitchen and now she has fallen asleep by me on the couch so unless she wakes up when I get up she will stay there because I cannot lift her into her top bunk bed.
Nathan is planning for two weeks recipes that he wants me to make with the kids. Then it can change on Saturday if he sees something that he likes that day. I went shopping earlier in the week and told him I would make three things this weekend and got the things that we needed but then this morning he saw two more recipes that he wanted to make and I needed to get some things for those.
Anyway after getting something for everyone for breakfast Larry and I read scriptures this morning for about an hour. At about 11:00 a.m. I decided I better get dressed because I have to take Maggie to gymnastics at noon. So I did that and then we fixed lunch for Maggie and I before we left.
Meanwhile Nathan was helping Isaac make brownies from his Thrive food storage mix that he wanted to cook in jars that can be saved for a while. When things were not working the way he wanted he would call me and ask me to help Isaac. Isaac made the brownies himself with just a little help from me. They were cooking before we left. I asked Isaac to help me get the things he used cleaned up and the counters washed but of course he forgot.
While Maggie went to class I went shopping at the HEB next to the dance studio. We were able to get the things to make the things Nathan discovered today and some fresh fruit and salsa and other things. Maggie was disappointed that I had already shopped because she wanted to help me. So I had her help me take in some groceries when we got home and the boys got some also.
Nathan and the boys had gone to the basketball court while we were gone. Maggie was disappointed that she didn't get to go and Nathan told her she could go over after we made cookies so she was happy with that but we never made it.
I put a roast in the crock pot to use for sandwiches or tortillas and Maggie, Sammy and I had some watermelon to eat. I told Nathan that I needed to rest for a half hour and then we would make the cookies so I went and got Larry's pills for him and then I sat down to look at Facebook on my phone. Two hours later and hurting because I forgot to take my own pills I realized that it was time to make cookies. Nathan has a cookie mix with his Thrive food storage that is pretty good and makes it easier to make the cookies but they are still work cooking. We made white chocolate chip macadamia nut cookies. I didn't know if the kids would eat them but they ate a few along with the brownies.
After that I made a smoothie from Nathan's Thrive freeze dried fruits and some yogurt and orange and pineapple juice. I made the kids all try it but only David drank a 3 oz cup, Nathan and Larry and I drank the rest. At that point I checked the roast and shredded it because it was done. Nathan and Larry wanted some on a bun. I tried it and then started to talk to Nathan thinking I had swallowed it and it came back up and went into my windpipe and I coughed for about 15 minutes so I decided not to have anymore for a while. The kids were still full from eating cookies and brownies and fruit and a vegetable tray I bought for them at the store so they did not want any so once again I went into rest. At this point I had not finished the dishes and David had left a pan from cooking Pizza Bagels while I was gone and Isaac's dishes were not cleaned up yet.
Nathan decided that the kids could help him move all the books out of the bookshelves in our room and take them to his closet. They were not very happy about this and complained a lot. Sammy seemed to scream anytime anyone asked him to do anything that was not playing on the IPad or watching TV today. But the boys got them moved with lots of complaining while I was making cookies with Maggie.
Larry spent most of his time in the bedroom watching Fox news and some of the other programs he likes. I went in with him to rest. After a while all the kids started screaming again. Nathan wanted them to do the dishes and they were not happy about it. They also had to complain about what everyone else was doing and it got pretty loud. I stayed in my room most of the time because Nathan is the parent and I think that it is good that he is teaching them to work but I did come out one time when I thought David was going to kill Sammy but Nathan got them all calmed down by dividing up the jobs that they had to do and eventually they got most of the dishes finished.
We said prayer as a family and then Nathan told the kids to get their pajamas on and brush their teeth. Maggie wears pull ups here and she informed us that she didn't have any left so Maggie and I drove to Target across the street and got her some. She is quite the conversationalist. It is fun to go with her. She talks as much as I do. She told me all about how she doesn't wear pull ups at her moms because her mom says she doesn't need them but then her mom has to wash her sheets and put them on her bed. I wish I had the energy to do that but pull ups are fine for me and my dad used to say that by the time they are twenty you can't tell what age they were potty trained.
So I came home and read scriptures with Larry and Maggie played on her IPad. He wasn't feeling well tonight so he went to bed at about 8:30 p.m. Maggie came out and talked to me and helped me clean up the rest of the kitchen and now she has fallen asleep by me on the couch so unless she wakes up when I get up she will stay there because I cannot lift her into her top bunk bed.
Friday, February 17, 2017
February 17th
Today was a lazy day. I woke up to fibromyalgia pain and realized that I wasn't hurting before because of mere stress but the stress was aggravating the fibromyalgia and then I had a good time like you do. But as I got up and got going the pain was better.
Nathan went to his Physical Therapy so we had the morning to ourselves.
Right after Nathan came home Kirsten called me and we talked for a while as she drove down to Riverton to Taylor's cardiac appointment. It is good to have cell phones now so I can talk to them as if they were right here in Texas without extra charge. Larry changed the laundry while I was talking so he must have been feeling better for a while.
This afternoon Nathan watched the Lord of the Rings I and II, Larry watched with him sometimes and other times was watching Fox News on TV in our room and I called my prescription insurance to find out why my copays on my roseaca lotion were $400.00. When I called they said that I had to enroll in a program with the same company for Texas so I was on the phone for an hour talking to them about a new policy. They thought the high copay was because I was out of network for Utah but in the end it will still be a $350.00 copay. Apparently I was able to get it in Utah for cheaper because the price goes down to $8.00 when you are in the catastrophic phase of the prescription cycle for Medicare. And with all my chemotherapy last year I made it to that last phase. So I guess I will have to go to my dermatologist and see if there is something that I can use that isn't so expensive on my insurance. Ironically in Utah the lotion was given to me as a lower priced thing to use because the other things I was using in Texas were too pricey in Utah.
When I finished that the guys were still watching the movies etc. and I didn't feel like watching it so I went to get the mail, I tried to call Mom and I got ready for the kids to come by looking up some recipes that Nathan wants the kids to make. Mom called me back later right before the kids came and I was able to tell her the good news about my cancer being in remission.
The kids came at 6:00 p.m. and they were in a contentious spirit when they came. Sammy wanted to go hide somewhere and be by himself and screamed every time Nathan wanted him to do something and David always wants to parent as well so it was a little hectic but they have folded their clothes and put them away and eaten dinner and are settled down and quiet now. Not in bed but quiet.
I was impressed that because Nathan had planned corn dogs for dinner David took over and fixed them without anyone having to asked and giving me a break. Larry also ate something else rather than a hot dog which is processed meat that he shouldn't have with his congestive heart failure.
Nathan went to his Physical Therapy so we had the morning to ourselves.
Right after Nathan came home Kirsten called me and we talked for a while as she drove down to Riverton to Taylor's cardiac appointment. It is good to have cell phones now so I can talk to them as if they were right here in Texas without extra charge. Larry changed the laundry while I was talking so he must have been feeling better for a while.
This afternoon Nathan watched the Lord of the Rings I and II, Larry watched with him sometimes and other times was watching Fox News on TV in our room and I called my prescription insurance to find out why my copays on my roseaca lotion were $400.00. When I called they said that I had to enroll in a program with the same company for Texas so I was on the phone for an hour talking to them about a new policy. They thought the high copay was because I was out of network for Utah but in the end it will still be a $350.00 copay. Apparently I was able to get it in Utah for cheaper because the price goes down to $8.00 when you are in the catastrophic phase of the prescription cycle for Medicare. And with all my chemotherapy last year I made it to that last phase. So I guess I will have to go to my dermatologist and see if there is something that I can use that isn't so expensive on my insurance. Ironically in Utah the lotion was given to me as a lower priced thing to use because the other things I was using in Texas were too pricey in Utah.
When I finished that the guys were still watching the movies etc. and I didn't feel like watching it so I went to get the mail, I tried to call Mom and I got ready for the kids to come by looking up some recipes that Nathan wants the kids to make. Mom called me back later right before the kids came and I was able to tell her the good news about my cancer being in remission.
The kids came at 6:00 p.m. and they were in a contentious spirit when they came. Sammy wanted to go hide somewhere and be by himself and screamed every time Nathan wanted him to do something and David always wants to parent as well so it was a little hectic but they have folded their clothes and put them away and eaten dinner and are settled down and quiet now. Not in bed but quiet.
I was impressed that because Nathan had planned corn dogs for dinner David took over and fixed them without anyone having to asked and giving me a break. Larry also ate something else rather than a hot dog which is processed meat that he shouldn't have with his congestive heart failure.
Thursday, February 16, 2017
February 16th
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| Nathan with the completed money "cake" |
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| David and Maggie and Isaac |
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| Maggie and David |
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| Sammy |
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| Isaac, Grandpa Larry and Nathan |
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| David, Nathan and Isaac |
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| Maggie |
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| Sammy, Maggie, David, Isaac and Nathan front |
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| Isaac with his "cake" |
I am so grateful for my knowledge of the Savior Jesus Christ and the Gospel of the Restoration. It is a constant source of comfort to me and helps me to overcome my day to day challenges by turning to him and giving him my burden.
Wednesday, February 15, 2017
February 15th
Well today was a free day. We had no appointments. So we were slow in getting going. We got dressed by about 11:00 a.m. Nathan goes with a friend Jason to a Physical Therapy class about 8:00 a.m. so we had the morning to ourselves.
Some of the highlights of today:
We figured out how to use the new gate that they had installed and we had become stalled at at least two times because we didn't understand that we didn't have to follow the instructions on the machine and we can just put our code in.
The oxygen company finally came to pick up the oxygen machines that we brought with us in December!! Although in fairness to them they did call Larry on the day he got out of the hospital, January 18th, after his surgery and he was just going through his messages today!!
I made Nathan some Macaroni and Cheese from his Thrive food storage and put it in little containers for him to eat when he wants in the refrigerator. Kirsten had made it for him before and said she didn't like it and I can understand why. It doesn't call for salt or have any thickening for the cheese sauce. It would be perfect for Larry's Salt and Sugar free diet! lol
Larry and I went shopping and got some groceries for this week and the weekend with the kids. Larry got so tired that he had to go out in the car and wait for me to finish. But he walked around for about 20 minutes. He often does this lately. He thinks he can do more than he can but the surgeon says that he needs to exercise so I let him do what he can.
I talked to Carol Vincent on the phone again. Her husband has been diagnosed with hydro cephalic and needs to have surgery. His heart will determine if he can have the surgery. The doctor thought that this might be the cause of his symptoms rather than Alzheimers. I don't know how she copes sometimes. At least some of Larry's problems are temporary.
Some of the highlights of today:
We figured out how to use the new gate that they had installed and we had become stalled at at least two times because we didn't understand that we didn't have to follow the instructions on the machine and we can just put our code in.
The oxygen company finally came to pick up the oxygen machines that we brought with us in December!! Although in fairness to them they did call Larry on the day he got out of the hospital, January 18th, after his surgery and he was just going through his messages today!!
I made Nathan some Macaroni and Cheese from his Thrive food storage and put it in little containers for him to eat when he wants in the refrigerator. Kirsten had made it for him before and said she didn't like it and I can understand why. It doesn't call for salt or have any thickening for the cheese sauce. It would be perfect for Larry's Salt and Sugar free diet! lol
Larry and I went shopping and got some groceries for this week and the weekend with the kids. Larry got so tired that he had to go out in the car and wait for me to finish. But he walked around for about 20 minutes. He often does this lately. He thinks he can do more than he can but the surgeon says that he needs to exercise so I let him do what he can.
I talked to Carol Vincent on the phone again. Her husband has been diagnosed with hydro cephalic and needs to have surgery. His heart will determine if he can have the surgery. The doctor thought that this might be the cause of his symptoms rather than Alzheimers. I don't know how she copes sometimes. At least some of Larry's problems are temporary.
Tuesday, February 14, 2017
February 14th Valentines day
Today started out as a good day and pretty much stayed that way all day. When we first get up we usually take our pills and drink a Thrive Shake for breakfast that we like. Often during this time Nathan needs help putting his stretch sock and shoes on. That was the case today. It has got so it is not such a bad thing to do. Hard but doable. But they gave him a brace to wear last week at Therapy on his left foot and he decided that he wanted to put that on today. It was so much harder to put his left shoe on with that in there but we finally did it. I was sweating from the workout however when we were finished.
I started reading my email while waiting for Larry to complete some things before we started reading our scriptures. Abbie Oliver, Kathy's granddaughter is on a mission in southern California and her email was there today. They had just had Elder Oaks there at their mission conference and some things that she quoted him as saying really lifted me today. She quoted him as saying: He also told
us that when he was fifty years old, he finally realized that you can't read the scriptures like you would read something else. He reminded us that they were written under the influence of the Holy
Ghost, and so they need to be read that way. Thus, we need to make sure that we always pray BEFORE we read the scriptures. Above all, he wanted us to understand that he is just an ordinary Latter Day Saint, who has been given an extraordinary mantle to carry. Larry and I read most days but we have usually pray after reading. So we have decided to pray for the Holy Ghost to be with us before reading at least. I thought is was very humble of him to say that he is just an ordinary Latter-Day Saint when he is an apostle.
It was raining in the night and this morning it was cold for San Antonio, about 55 degrees but there was a breeze blowing. Nathan went out to be outside and after a while I received a phone call from him. His wheelchair had run off on one side of the sidewalk and he could not get it back on. Larry and I both went out and we got him back on but I was worried about Larry pulling the wheelchair. He says that I am driving him nuts with all my worrying.
After the cleaning ladies came we went to HEB and bought the kids some things for Valentines. Nathan bought them a big cookie and Larry and I bought them some cupcakes. Nathan bought us some grapes because we didn't want to get sweets and we bought him some chocolate covered strawberries so everyone got a Valentine. We took the stuff by to give to the kids about 5:30 p.m. and they were so excited to get the cookie and cupcakes. They seemed so excited to see Nathan also. He was just gushing because he was so happy that they had liked what he bought them. It made my day to see how happy he was to please them. He really loves his kids. It is such a pleasure to help him accomplish things that are hard for him.
We also sent Valentine e-cards to all our other grandchildren that are far away and it was fun to see the notifications that they had received them. Gauge even typed me a thank you and Taylor called to thank us for her Valentines. It was good to talk to her and Kirsten. They are going through quite a trial because the doctors do not want Taylor to go back to school until April because of the RSV she just had and her weak heart. Luckily though because she is getting behind the school district is going to try to get her more help through some program.
I have felt so much better today and the last three days that I wonder if I had something but then I might feel better because Larry is feeling better. He is breathing better and moving better. When we went shopping he didn't get exhausted. He was also able to sit on the living room love seat and get out of it. He is still in pain some but he is only taking Acetaminophen and has weaned himself off the Hydro Codone. It is hard to think that I felt so awful because he felt so awful but maybe that is it. Although I have been able to go for almost three months from my last Zometa infusion so we shall see.
I started reading my email while waiting for Larry to complete some things before we started reading our scriptures. Abbie Oliver, Kathy's granddaughter is on a mission in southern California and her email was there today. They had just had Elder Oaks there at their mission conference and some things that she quoted him as saying really lifted me today. She quoted him as saying: He also told
us that when he was fifty years old, he finally realized that you can't read the scriptures like you would read something else. He reminded us that they were written under the influence of the Holy
Ghost, and so they need to be read that way. Thus, we need to make sure that we always pray BEFORE we read the scriptures. Above all, he wanted us to understand that he is just an ordinary Latter Day Saint, who has been given an extraordinary mantle to carry. Larry and I read most days but we have usually pray after reading. So we have decided to pray for the Holy Ghost to be with us before reading at least. I thought is was very humble of him to say that he is just an ordinary Latter-Day Saint when he is an apostle.
It was raining in the night and this morning it was cold for San Antonio, about 55 degrees but there was a breeze blowing. Nathan went out to be outside and after a while I received a phone call from him. His wheelchair had run off on one side of the sidewalk and he could not get it back on. Larry and I both went out and we got him back on but I was worried about Larry pulling the wheelchair. He says that I am driving him nuts with all my worrying.
After the cleaning ladies came we went to HEB and bought the kids some things for Valentines. Nathan bought them a big cookie and Larry and I bought them some cupcakes. Nathan bought us some grapes because we didn't want to get sweets and we bought him some chocolate covered strawberries so everyone got a Valentine. We took the stuff by to give to the kids about 5:30 p.m. and they were so excited to get the cookie and cupcakes. They seemed so excited to see Nathan also. He was just gushing because he was so happy that they had liked what he bought them. It made my day to see how happy he was to please them. He really loves his kids. It is such a pleasure to help him accomplish things that are hard for him.
We also sent Valentine e-cards to all our other grandchildren that are far away and it was fun to see the notifications that they had received them. Gauge even typed me a thank you and Taylor called to thank us for her Valentines. It was good to talk to her and Kirsten. They are going through quite a trial because the doctors do not want Taylor to go back to school until April because of the RSV she just had and her weak heart. Luckily though because she is getting behind the school district is going to try to get her more help through some program.
I have felt so much better today and the last three days that I wonder if I had something but then I might feel better because Larry is feeling better. He is breathing better and moving better. When we went shopping he didn't get exhausted. He was also able to sit on the living room love seat and get out of it. He is still in pain some but he is only taking Acetaminophen and has weaned himself off the Hydro Codone. It is hard to think that I felt so awful because he felt so awful but maybe that is it. Although I have been able to go for almost three months from my last Zometa infusion so we shall see.
Monday, February 13, 2017
February 13th
Larry had a VA appointment at 8:45 a.m. this morning with a cardiac nurse practitioner. We left at 7:30 a.m. and hoped that it would work out because news was saying that an accident had blocked the road on the way but it worked out okay. We were able to get there and get the blood tests they wanted before the appointment. Larry was a little frustrated that he didn't get into his appointment until after 9:15 a.m. but that is just the VA and any doctors office. They checked his signs and things looked good with his blood pressure and swelling but they decided to give him more potassium because his was low. He has to go in once a week until March 8th so they can monitor his symptoms and they stressed that he needed to watch his diet. We are trying to but it is hard to find anything that we like that has less than 150 mg of sodium per serving.
We came home and had lunch. I went to get the mail but there wasn't anything for us.
Nathan was not dressed and did not get dressed today but I don't know if he wasn't feeling well or just needed a day off. He spent most of the time in his bathroom and didn't talk to me much.
Larry and I took a nap for a while and woke up about 2:00 p.m. I spent too much time on Facebook today and then finally began working on sending email Valentines cards to my grandchildren. It was 5:00 p.m. when I finally stopped while I waited for some texts that needed answering about what some emails were. Larry spent time watching TV. He is feeling much better. So we had dinner around 5:30 p.m.
Larry and I watched one Bones together and then he wanted to read scriptures so we read a lesson from the Gordon B. Hinckley manual for this year. I had been feeling pretty good but the lesson was on Daughters of God and for some reason when it talked about how much Gordon loved his mother and honored her it upset me. After prayer we got ready for bed and then Larry went to sleep and I came out to the living room to send the rest of my Valentines. I watched two more Bones while I worked and I finally have shook that anxious feeling that I got. Sometimes it is hard for me to feel like I have been a good mother but I tried to do my best and thought I was doing a good job at the time.
We came home and had lunch. I went to get the mail but there wasn't anything for us.
Nathan was not dressed and did not get dressed today but I don't know if he wasn't feeling well or just needed a day off. He spent most of the time in his bathroom and didn't talk to me much.
Larry and I took a nap for a while and woke up about 2:00 p.m. I spent too much time on Facebook today and then finally began working on sending email Valentines cards to my grandchildren. It was 5:00 p.m. when I finally stopped while I waited for some texts that needed answering about what some emails were. Larry spent time watching TV. He is feeling much better. So we had dinner around 5:30 p.m.
Larry and I watched one Bones together and then he wanted to read scriptures so we read a lesson from the Gordon B. Hinckley manual for this year. I had been feeling pretty good but the lesson was on Daughters of God and for some reason when it talked about how much Gordon loved his mother and honored her it upset me. After prayer we got ready for bed and then Larry went to sleep and I came out to the living room to send the rest of my Valentines. I watched two more Bones while I worked and I finally have shook that anxious feeling that I got. Sometimes it is hard for me to feel like I have been a good mother but I tried to do my best and thought I was doing a good job at the time.
Sunday, February 12, 2017
February 12, 2017
It has been a rough month. Larry had his surgery on the 13th of January and was in the hospital for about 5 days. The surgery went well and he was well taken care of in the ICU.
Our Granddaughter Taylor Hayford was in the Primary Children's medical center for a while with RSV. She was very sick. Now that she is home the doctors do not want her to go back to school until April so she doesn't get sick again because of her weak heart so Kirsten is having a learning experience about how to work and take care of a sick daughter. It is frustrating when all you can do is pray but sometimes that works better than anything I could do.
Meanwhile the doctor had given me diazapan for my neck which I found out was Valium after I could not take the baclafen. The neck pain went away but I was so tired. It literally hurt to sit up I wanted to sleep all the time but I had to help Nathan with a few things and I had to go to the hospital each day and be with Larry. When Larry came home it was torture to try to help him and Nathan do anything and I wanted to cry all the time, but the neck pain was gone.
After seeing my oncologist he ordered an MRI and a PET Scan for my neck to see if it was related to my cancer or the medications. I had the MRI before Larry went into the hospital but he was home before I got the results of the MRI. It showed that I did not have any cancer there. That was the good news. It also showed that I had arthritis in my spine about where the pain in my neck was also inflamed. The doctor told me that I could get a shot in my neck to help with the inflammation. I was so wiped out that this was wonderful news. I immediately quit taking the Valium. I figured that if the pain returned at least I could function. I felt so much better and that has been about two weeks ago and the pain has not returned. To me it is a miracle. Perhaps some would be able to explain it but I have not had the shot and I am not in pain and I am able to function better so I can help Larry and Nathan.
Unfortunately we did not understand that when Larry lifted up on the bed to get himself up that he was lifting his whole weight and he was not to lift more than 10 lbs. After doing this for about a week he started to hear a clicking in his chest and it hurt so I called the Nurse Practitioner and they had me bring him in on the 26th of January. He had broken two or three of the metal clamps that was holding his sternum together. They said that it would probably heal but that he would have to be more careful. We spent the rest of the week trying to help him understand what restrictions he had and what he would have to do to get out of bed. One day he decided to sit by me on the small love seat we have. When I tried to lift him up his feet slipped and he went almost to the floor. I was able to ease him back to the love seat but had to call our home teacher to help me lift him.
During the week as my stress level grew I messaged a friend, Carol Vincent, that is having to be a caregiver to her husband who has alzheimers. We agreed to talk on Tuesday. It helped so much to talk to her because she moved to Texas to while she was a caregiver and had troubles finding doctors and such and talking to her helped to relieve much of the stress that I was feeling at the time.
Nathan's kids came the first weekend of the month. Sara had been sick the week before they came and Maggie was coughing and David was sick. Larry stayed in his room to avoid the kids because of the germs but I was able to help Nathan with the kids. We made cookies and had Pizza and such. The kids seemed to have a good time. Nathan and David and Maggie stayed home from church with Larry while I took Sammy and Isaac to church. It was good to be in church and gave me some uplift. I also had a chance to talk to Sammy about how to get answers to prayers. I know that it seems selfish to talk about how hard it was for me but I was really overwhelmed because I was the only one that could help most of the time. But, I was able to accomplish much thanks to the Lord. I love the kids and so far Larry has not been sick.
Sunday night the 4th of February after I took the kids home Larry did not seem well but we went to bed hoping that sleep would help. We both woke about 2:00 a.m. Larry was having problems breathing. At first he wanted to just try to sleep sitting up more. I was frustrated that we did not have a recliner that he could sleep in and sitting up with pillows did not work in our bed. I read the paper that they sent home and they said that if you were having severe trouble breathing that you should call 911 or go to the emergency room. Larry was afraid that if I called 911 they would not take him to the VA Hospital so I told him that I could drive him to the VA Emergency room. I was panicked that he would have problems breathing without his oxygen but I was so embarrassed that I did not know how to help set it up and he had to tell me. It took us about 20 minutes to dress and leave at 2:45 a.m. Larry was good with the oxygen but I was so frustrated that it takes 35 minutes to drive to the VA from where we live. When we got there they took him in immediately and diagnosed him with problems with his congestive heart failure. He had gained 9 lbs from the morning before and had trouble breathing because of the liquid around his heart and in his lungs. They said that he would have to probably stay overnight in the ER but when he was admitted in the room the doctors said that he would need to loose 18 lbs of water before he could go home. He ended up being there until Thursday afternoon.
John and Judy came over on Monday afternoon. It was good to have someone to talk to that day and to know that they would visit Larry in the morning also so I could sleep a little. I finally went home on Monday afternoon about 4:00 p.m. and I was tired! I told Heavenly Father that I needed someone to talk to. Nathan was good to listen as we ate but I was still stressed. That evening after I ate a friend in Utah, Marsha Hazelbaker, texted me to see how I was doing and wanted to know how I was doing and if she could call sometime. I said how about now. It was an answer to my prayer and we ended up talking about 2 hours and it helped so much. We had a good talk.
John and Judy went home on Tuesday afternoon. They have their own problems to deal with this week as it appears that John's cancer is returning. He has a test this week.
I had a PET Scan on Thursday and an appointment for labs with my oncologist so I was hoping that Larry would be released on Wednesday or Friday but of course that did not happen. I was so super stressed that morning that I just felt overwhelmed even though the doctors at the hospital were understanding about me not being able to pick Larry up until 2:00 p.m. Carol Vincent sent me a text while I was in the waiting room asking me to call her when I got Larry settled. I agreed. It helped so much but when I got into the PET Scan there was so much quiet time during the two hours and I was able to lay down most of the time so my stress just melted away. Since then I have been able to function better. Part of that is because Larry came home feeling so much better. I really think that despite the hardship of having to travel to the VA everyday that his hospitalization helped not only him but me. I am not a good nurse and I was freaking out not knowing how to help him about half of the time. When he came home he has not needed as much physical help.
Friday we had to go to the VA again because Larry left the cord to his C-Pap machine. He was feeling so good that he thought that he would not need a wheelchair but after having to walk several places looking for it and finally having to go and get a new one we had to call for an escort to bring him a wheelchair for the rest of the trip. Fortunately he was able to get their last cord to the C-Pap machine that he has and so he has been able to sleep much better.
Larry felt so good that he decided to go to Sacrament meeting today. We just went for the one meeting and at the end of that he was very tired and sore so we all went home. Nathan has been very tired lately and I don't know if I should worry about it or not. He has always complained about being tired even before the stroke but he doesn't act like he feels good either. He says that I shouldn't bother him about going to the doctor for a check up so I just try to sympathize with him.
Sorry to vent so much but I am learning that caregiving is harder than being sick sometimes. But I will be okay. Heavenly Father has my back and is helping me.
Our Granddaughter Taylor Hayford was in the Primary Children's medical center for a while with RSV. She was very sick. Now that she is home the doctors do not want her to go back to school until April so she doesn't get sick again because of her weak heart so Kirsten is having a learning experience about how to work and take care of a sick daughter. It is frustrating when all you can do is pray but sometimes that works better than anything I could do.
Meanwhile the doctor had given me diazapan for my neck which I found out was Valium after I could not take the baclafen. The neck pain went away but I was so tired. It literally hurt to sit up I wanted to sleep all the time but I had to help Nathan with a few things and I had to go to the hospital each day and be with Larry. When Larry came home it was torture to try to help him and Nathan do anything and I wanted to cry all the time, but the neck pain was gone.
After seeing my oncologist he ordered an MRI and a PET Scan for my neck to see if it was related to my cancer or the medications. I had the MRI before Larry went into the hospital but he was home before I got the results of the MRI. It showed that I did not have any cancer there. That was the good news. It also showed that I had arthritis in my spine about where the pain in my neck was also inflamed. The doctor told me that I could get a shot in my neck to help with the inflammation. I was so wiped out that this was wonderful news. I immediately quit taking the Valium. I figured that if the pain returned at least I could function. I felt so much better and that has been about two weeks ago and the pain has not returned. To me it is a miracle. Perhaps some would be able to explain it but I have not had the shot and I am not in pain and I am able to function better so I can help Larry and Nathan.
Unfortunately we did not understand that when Larry lifted up on the bed to get himself up that he was lifting his whole weight and he was not to lift more than 10 lbs. After doing this for about a week he started to hear a clicking in his chest and it hurt so I called the Nurse Practitioner and they had me bring him in on the 26th of January. He had broken two or three of the metal clamps that was holding his sternum together. They said that it would probably heal but that he would have to be more careful. We spent the rest of the week trying to help him understand what restrictions he had and what he would have to do to get out of bed. One day he decided to sit by me on the small love seat we have. When I tried to lift him up his feet slipped and he went almost to the floor. I was able to ease him back to the love seat but had to call our home teacher to help me lift him.
During the week as my stress level grew I messaged a friend, Carol Vincent, that is having to be a caregiver to her husband who has alzheimers. We agreed to talk on Tuesday. It helped so much to talk to her because she moved to Texas to while she was a caregiver and had troubles finding doctors and such and talking to her helped to relieve much of the stress that I was feeling at the time.
Nathan's kids came the first weekend of the month. Sara had been sick the week before they came and Maggie was coughing and David was sick. Larry stayed in his room to avoid the kids because of the germs but I was able to help Nathan with the kids. We made cookies and had Pizza and such. The kids seemed to have a good time. Nathan and David and Maggie stayed home from church with Larry while I took Sammy and Isaac to church. It was good to be in church and gave me some uplift. I also had a chance to talk to Sammy about how to get answers to prayers. I know that it seems selfish to talk about how hard it was for me but I was really overwhelmed because I was the only one that could help most of the time. But, I was able to accomplish much thanks to the Lord. I love the kids and so far Larry has not been sick.
Sunday night the 4th of February after I took the kids home Larry did not seem well but we went to bed hoping that sleep would help. We both woke about 2:00 a.m. Larry was having problems breathing. At first he wanted to just try to sleep sitting up more. I was frustrated that we did not have a recliner that he could sleep in and sitting up with pillows did not work in our bed. I read the paper that they sent home and they said that if you were having severe trouble breathing that you should call 911 or go to the emergency room. Larry was afraid that if I called 911 they would not take him to the VA Hospital so I told him that I could drive him to the VA Emergency room. I was panicked that he would have problems breathing without his oxygen but I was so embarrassed that I did not know how to help set it up and he had to tell me. It took us about 20 minutes to dress and leave at 2:45 a.m. Larry was good with the oxygen but I was so frustrated that it takes 35 minutes to drive to the VA from where we live. When we got there they took him in immediately and diagnosed him with problems with his congestive heart failure. He had gained 9 lbs from the morning before and had trouble breathing because of the liquid around his heart and in his lungs. They said that he would have to probably stay overnight in the ER but when he was admitted in the room the doctors said that he would need to loose 18 lbs of water before he could go home. He ended up being there until Thursday afternoon.
John and Judy came over on Monday afternoon. It was good to have someone to talk to that day and to know that they would visit Larry in the morning also so I could sleep a little. I finally went home on Monday afternoon about 4:00 p.m. and I was tired! I told Heavenly Father that I needed someone to talk to. Nathan was good to listen as we ate but I was still stressed. That evening after I ate a friend in Utah, Marsha Hazelbaker, texted me to see how I was doing and wanted to know how I was doing and if she could call sometime. I said how about now. It was an answer to my prayer and we ended up talking about 2 hours and it helped so much. We had a good talk.
John and Judy went home on Tuesday afternoon. They have their own problems to deal with this week as it appears that John's cancer is returning. He has a test this week.
I had a PET Scan on Thursday and an appointment for labs with my oncologist so I was hoping that Larry would be released on Wednesday or Friday but of course that did not happen. I was so super stressed that morning that I just felt overwhelmed even though the doctors at the hospital were understanding about me not being able to pick Larry up until 2:00 p.m. Carol Vincent sent me a text while I was in the waiting room asking me to call her when I got Larry settled. I agreed. It helped so much but when I got into the PET Scan there was so much quiet time during the two hours and I was able to lay down most of the time so my stress just melted away. Since then I have been able to function better. Part of that is because Larry came home feeling so much better. I really think that despite the hardship of having to travel to the VA everyday that his hospitalization helped not only him but me. I am not a good nurse and I was freaking out not knowing how to help him about half of the time. When he came home he has not needed as much physical help.
Friday we had to go to the VA again because Larry left the cord to his C-Pap machine. He was feeling so good that he thought that he would not need a wheelchair but after having to walk several places looking for it and finally having to go and get a new one we had to call for an escort to bring him a wheelchair for the rest of the trip. Fortunately he was able to get their last cord to the C-Pap machine that he has and so he has been able to sleep much better.
Larry felt so good that he decided to go to Sacrament meeting today. We just went for the one meeting and at the end of that he was very tired and sore so we all went home. Nathan has been very tired lately and I don't know if I should worry about it or not. He has always complained about being tired even before the stroke but he doesn't act like he feels good either. He says that I shouldn't bother him about going to the doctor for a check up so I just try to sympathize with him.
Sorry to vent so much but I am learning that caregiving is harder than being sick sometimes. But I will be okay. Heavenly Father has my back and is helping me.
January 29th, 2017
This has been a hard month for all of us. I am grateful that I can talk to Heavenly Father and get direction on what to do when I feel overwhelmed. Larry and I have never felt that we were not doing the right thing in coming here but the Lord often gives you hard experiences to help you grow and this has been one of those.
Larry went to see his doctor on the 15th of December for the first time. She started by complaining about him coming down to San Antonio to get his surgery. She said it would take months to get him into the system down here. Then she started asking him questions about medications and other things. After a while she asked him if he had any chest pains. When he told her he had been having them since 1:00 a.m. that morning she went into a panic and started cussing him about why did he come there because they were not equipped to handle heart problems, this was a clinic. I didn't know that he had been having chest pains so I was in shock. She called the ambulance and they took him to the VA hospital emergency room where he immediately became acquainted with the cardiac team and they admitted him to the hospital. After three times of trying to give them the pictures sent from Utah they finally looked at them and introduced him to the Thoracic Surgery team. Some might say that this was an unfortunate occurrence caused by our stupidity in coming down here but we saw the hand of the Lord in getting him into the system down here so things could get started faster. He was in the hospital for about 4 days.
During this time I was able to help Nathan with his children get ready for Christmas without a worry about Larry being overwhelmed by doing too much. It was hard because the hospital is a half hour away or more but we were able to visit him and get last minute Christmas shopping done for the week.
It was another miracle to me that he went through Christmas and did not have problems. During that time however I continued to have neck pain on the right side of my neck. It started off and on in the summer after they started giving me zometa but in December it became an almost constant pain. I tried to go to a massage thereapist to see if that would help because it felt like it was in my muscles. It began to be so painful that I often felt nauseated with it and tried a number of excercises that sometime relieved the pain but it did not go away. When I went to the Dr. that I had decided to get into before we came he gave me a prescription for Baclafen and after a few days the pain went away. It was so nice to have the pain gone but after a week I woke up with anxiety attacks for claustrophobia and then after I ate I started throwing up. So I quit taking it and that went away but the pain in my neck came back.
Larry went to see his doctor on the 15th of December for the first time. She started by complaining about him coming down to San Antonio to get his surgery. She said it would take months to get him into the system down here. Then she started asking him questions about medications and other things. After a while she asked him if he had any chest pains. When he told her he had been having them since 1:00 a.m. that morning she went into a panic and started cussing him about why did he come there because they were not equipped to handle heart problems, this was a clinic. I didn't know that he had been having chest pains so I was in shock. She called the ambulance and they took him to the VA hospital emergency room where he immediately became acquainted with the cardiac team and they admitted him to the hospital. After three times of trying to give them the pictures sent from Utah they finally looked at them and introduced him to the Thoracic Surgery team. Some might say that this was an unfortunate occurrence caused by our stupidity in coming down here but we saw the hand of the Lord in getting him into the system down here so things could get started faster. He was in the hospital for about 4 days.
During this time I was able to help Nathan with his children get ready for Christmas without a worry about Larry being overwhelmed by doing too much. It was hard because the hospital is a half hour away or more but we were able to visit him and get last minute Christmas shopping done for the week.
It was another miracle to me that he went through Christmas and did not have problems. During that time however I continued to have neck pain on the right side of my neck. It started off and on in the summer after they started giving me zometa but in December it became an almost constant pain. I tried to go to a massage thereapist to see if that would help because it felt like it was in my muscles. It began to be so painful that I often felt nauseated with it and tried a number of excercises that sometime relieved the pain but it did not go away. When I went to the Dr. that I had decided to get into before we came he gave me a prescription for Baclafen and after a few days the pain went away. It was so nice to have the pain gone but after a week I woke up with anxiety attacks for claustrophobia and then after I ate I started throwing up. So I quit taking it and that went away but the pain in my neck came back.
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